Illustrations by Casey Webb
Today I was wondering where in my life everything went so very wrong and yet, at the same time, right. I had a few things going for me, and I threw them away for a chance at something better. It’s been awhile, and honestly, I’m still waiting for what I just keep hoping is right around the corner. The occasional glimpses of light are all I need to keep my hope alive and keep me trekking through this overwhelming darkness.
I realized the transition that I am in right now is like a huge unorganized room: in the midst of cleaning it, you realized that you made it ten times the mess that it was, and it slowly becomes more overwhelming to try and organize it all. However, you know that, once you are done, you’ll be glad you did it and that it was all worth it – even if you do feel like giving up from time to time.
Although I wish I had the wisdom of my older self in times like these, I know that the wisdom of an older self will only come through these struggles. I’m glad that instead of waiting forever, I’m already brave enough to try something so terrifying; especially now, when I’m young and have minimal responsibilities.
There really is no time like the present. You just have to take it one day at a time and put in a bit of solid effort every day. You can’t let your emotions get the best of you and keep you from making progress. Rain or shine, you’ve got to do what needs to be done, and eventually you will get there. Sometimes you just have to become separate from yourself. Feel your emotions, but don’t give them the satisfaction of giving in and letting them dictate your day. Each and every day you can decide how you want to feel, and some things (most things) just aren’t worth being upset about. When you’re in the midst of such a confusing and overwhelming struggle, it’s hard not to get caught up in the chaos, so remember why you decided to throw yourself into the chaos in the first place. The hope that you’ll one day have your dreams come true is far better than a bland reality of mediocrity. Even in your worst moments where you think “I had no idea it was going to be this hard,” feel good about yourself for being brave enough to take it all on.
Always be sure that you are proud of even your smallest achievements, for those are the stepping stones across rough waters, those are the seeds that will later grow into a large harvest. Be patient- it will take a lot longer than you had hoped, and it’ll take a whole lot longer the more you procrastinate. But the good news is that everything is entirely possible, and it’s all in your hands. Rain or shine, my friends, you’ve got this. It’s all up to you (which I know is incredibly overwhelming, but also very empowering all at the same time.)
I hope this lifted you up a bit, and if it did, do me a favor and lift someone else up by sharing this (because, while we’re being completely honest, that’s what would really lift me up.)
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